the moment i close my eyes i realize that i'm all alone,
i don't want to cry but i don't know how the tears start rolling down from eyes,
the more i resist myself from crying the more i find myself engulfed with tears,
now i had started to think that my relation with tears is life long.....
even if i die,the one thing which will still be mine would be nothing but the tears which would still be rolling down from my eyes that time,
i don't know how my close ones will react to that
but i just know that i am and i would be the burnt soul forever...
which has already been parted without the single flash or flame ....
sorrows are many... yet i am and wil always be satisfied
as it's the destiny destined from above which is the only thing that's not in our hands...
i wish i could really mold it
but i'm helpless as the things which are out of reach are always impossible to get or happen....
time passed by,there were many whom i met,
some came for reason and some just by chance....
besides everything all of them went,
teaching me a lesson that good things stay for just short period of time and good people are very rare to find,
if found life is boon and if not then life is just a bloody hell!!!
don't know why it happened but just know that I'm an innocent soul who has always suffered betrayals, loneliness, heartbroken and enmity...
but i'm still alive with the new burning spirit..
i accepted the way it was and still accepted the way it is
but just wandering that how many more times i have to feel that m as good as dead??
i try to find the reason to this question but everytime i get stuck up...
because the more i think,the more i found myself lost in darkness...
just can't find an answer to my own question for the simple reason that i didn't deserve the good...
day by day my condition is like bird without wings,
i stand and as i begin to start i end up and fall so badly that at every step i can see myself rolling down...
down to the end of everything...
i try to make the vision of something good but everytime worse happens...
sad part is not the happening, nor the results but the sad part is there is no one to hold my hand and help me get out of this...
i'm all alone,sooner or later i realised: and now when i realised it pains,
it really pains to know that i came alone in this world and i vil depart from here alone...
no one just no one with me, m all drowned...
no ray of hope and no chance for a survival...
yet people say am rude, my heart has become of stone now, but from inside its still very soft...
i may pretend to be happy but from inside m all burnt with sorrows and miseries...
i didn't care what people say about me,that's what life has taught me...
i'm just like wall,the more you hit the more you will get hurt...
it was just transient,it was for a while...
winds had already changed but i didn't realize what was that or what is going to happen..
for me it was the worse to happen but who knew, it would be the start of new path..
the breaking dawn, that was ready to come over.... and now to me its new horizon....
something strange will happen i know but the cycle will repeat and go on and on i knew not...
i resisted,i rejected... repeatedly since two hours i said no to the one who came when there was no hope,no joy,no light and no path..
actualy can hear the sound of those footsteps that i adored in dreams but it would happen too early i knew not,
what was it that made me change my decision??
well the answer is: those eyes which said a lot in silence, which reflected the true feelings of heart...
first time it was the game of emotions, and i didn't know it would change my life forever...
and now when it's the cute start i am lucky to have something which i can say will always be mine and remain with me throughout....
~RINNI MAHAJAN
