He is conflicted...
Baby this is the saddest thing I've ever read.... I'm no conman I've been only conning myself..... I've suffered your lost and lived everyday with regrets...... It wasnt an easy decision to make and nobody wants to hurt people so I figured I fucked up so I should suffer...... You can ask anybody including my brother or sister and friends I tell them I loved u more than anything.... I have no excuses for what I've done to you, I did what I did because I loved u.... I couldn't comprehend right from wrong happiness or sadness.....I was confused and my heart said Linda is what u want but my mind said I was selfish....I don't think anybody could love one person so much until I met u, you made me feel something I've never ever could imagine....I had a chance and I blew it, everyday I struggle with myself if I should do what my heart says but my logic tells me something else.... It always
tells me I should suffer the consequence of betraying people close to me.... I've betrayed you and that was the betrayal I had the hardest to deal with.... I stayed home, work, did fatherly duties like I should but everyday my mind wonders off to the place I felt most comfortable....you. I'm happy with you, I'm alive with you, I'm all the things everyone wants when I'm with you.... I struggle to find a way to you everyday .... I don't even know what to say no more I'm fuckd up in the head right now  I'm gonna be with you..... Give me some time baby so I can figure this out and I will look for you.... I promise, until then live ur life and forget about me if your love is strong as mines for you, you will accept me back.... I can't lie to another soul anymore ..... I love u baby and I will be back for you soon....