Kindly help me how to live alone?

Hi i loved my childhood friend... we are family friends...we both are friends right from the birth... She is very close to me... she shares all the things what all happend in her life... Suddenly she avoid me... She hated me for a small reason...suddenly she left me when she knows that i am loving her... See our 21 years friendship gone in a second... Now am 26 years... Waiting for her for last 5 years... even i have no chance to see her... Daily am crying.... but she didnt even have time to think about me... i am waiting for my death... i can't live without her...